Healing Steps Towards a Brighter Future

What amount of self-pressure is appropriate for the first post on a new blog?

What amount of self-pressure is appropriate for the first *blank* of a new *blank*? If you’d asked me this generalized form more than a few months ago I probably would’ve given you advice that I rarely took myself: just jump in, do it scared, a journey of a thousand miles…, and so on. Easy to say, frequently (at least for me) not easy to do.

Academically or logically I would understand that getting started on something is always the most difficult part. Starting new things opens up opportunities for failure. My narcissism is exposed when I try something new or get started again on something I stopped: everyone else is so far ahead of me, I wasted all that time I could’ve been developing, I’m not good at this therefore it is not fun. I know I’m not unique in experiencing these thoughts.

Something I’ve learned recently though is how to start digging below the thoughts and examine the feelings underneath: thoughts are stories our minds tell us to make use of our feelings as a means of protection. When I’m worried about going back to the gym for the first time in years my mind is telling me stories about how it thinks the world perceives me based on my feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, or ineptitude that tie back to an experience of (probably) embarrassment. My mind isn’t doing this to be an asshole, it’s trying to protect its ancestral self from being abandoned by the tribe. “Thank you, mind. I know you’re only trying to help, but I got this covered; there’s no worry of me being abandoned by the tribe today.”

Okay, so I recognize the stories my mind is telling me about this situation and I accept that I’m having feelings that served as some form of evolutionary protection; that’s it, problem solved? Well, in a way – yes. Maybe ‘problem solved’ isn’t the best phrasing, but problem understood. So I answer the thoughts:

Everyone else is so far ahead of me – likely there’s always going to be someone ahead of me and that’s okay.

I wasted all that time I could’ve been developing – the clock moves in one direction and there’s no time like the present to get started.

I’m not good at this therefore it is not fun – this is my biggest one…who said you have to be good at something to have fun!?

And that last answer gets to the ethos of my current mentality on new(ish) experiences (Aussie rules football, for example) and life in general: I’m still new at this, I don’t have everything figured out or understand all the rules perfectly (let’s be honest, no one else really does either), I’m just here to have fun and learn something new.

So, what amount of self-pressure is appropriate for the first post on a new blog?

None, I’m just here to have fun.

Walk with gratitude 🙏